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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Philadelphia, PA -- Fu Wah's Tofu Fucking Hoagie

Ah, yes, the legendary tofu hoagie from Fu Wah, also known as the Bill Braskey of sandwiches.  I heard that one time this hoagie ate a truckload of tomatoes, and what it shat out is what we currently know as The Spaghetti Warehouse franchise(props to Geoff Otis).  There was another time where we had a bachelor party for this hoagie, and it ate the entire cake before we could tell it there was a stripper in there.  This hoagie's family crest is a barricuda, eating Neil Armstrong.  So yeah, legendary.

Although I'm prety sure Fu Wah didn't invent this hoagie(which can be found at any Vietnamese sandwhich shop in the country -- which are so hot right now, btw), this particular shop has influenced places such as The Blue Nile in Harrisonburg, and Rivermont Pizza in Lynchburg to include their own version of it on their menus.  The reason this particular hoagie is special to Virginians is because a bunch of people from H-burg and L-burg moved there a million years ago and spread the good word to folks/touring musicians back home.  So we srsly eat here EVERYtime we hit up Philly, cuz it's cheap as hell($3), and it knows how to fill you(stomach style, that is).

The hoagie is made up of fresh bread, fresh jalapeƱos and cilantro, lightly pickled and shredded carrots, and marinated tofu.  I'm not quite sure what the tofu is marinated in, but you can definately taste Sambal, ginger, and maybe some soy sauce?  I tried asking to Vietnamese dude who runs the joint what's in it, and he was like "Shit man, I dunno, veggie swoss?  Why don' you go ask dose Mexicans back dare?".  Having a Vietnamese dude be snarky to you in a thick Philadelphian accent is weeeiirrrd.  There's just something not right about it, ya know?  Like trying to poop while you're standing in the James River(which I wouldn't know anything about).

I know the picture's blurry and shit, but check out B-rock's O-face!  Dude just made love to a damn sandwich, and now he wants to be its outer spoon and match breathing patterns with it.

Fu Wah is located in West Philly on S47th and Baltimore, like, six blocks from the really tight record store where I bought the E.T. Soundtrack on vinyl.