Sunday, November 14, 2010
Highway Rapery #1: The Maryland House
So why the hell do always stop here!? Why does anyone stop here? It really just comes to convenience, and these shitty dicks exploit the hell out of that. There's just certain parts of the country(New Jerzeeeee, im looking at youhooo) that to simply pull off at a random exit to go to a snack factory just takes more time than it's worth, so you settle for ten dollar jars of peanuts and four dollar bottles of water just so you can get in and out promptly.
On today's trip, I decide to really do it up Maryland style and get some good ol' fashion greasy seafood from a little joint called Phillip's Seafood Express!
Phillip's: Welcome to Phillip's! How may I help you?
Me: Well, Phillip, I've got ten bucks on me, what can I get for that?
Phillip's: Well! You can either have 8oz of our famous lobster bisque, OORRRR, a tiny ass pretzel with some crab and cream cheese in it! Did I mention we let the pretzel marinate in a grease bath all fucking day? MMmmMmmm!
Me: Hey Phillip?
Me: I haven't even ordered anything yet, and your boner is in my butt.
Me: I'll have the damn pretzel.
As you can see, B-rock is NOT happy. As a matter of fact, I'd say this dude is down right indignant! That's the face of a man who's getting filled. But you know what? It was delicious! Of course it was! You could crap in my mouth, call it Pot de Creme, charge me ten dollars for it, and I'd swear up and down that it was a culinary masterpiece. I split it up between the four of us, which was a good decision according to B-rock, who was convinced if one actually ate one of those to themselves, they would have explosive diarrhea. He's probly right, but touring isn't really conducive for solid healthy poops anyway.
We played at Haverford college that night and had burnt popcorn and egg-drop ramen for 4th meal. Got stoned as FUCK, got in my snuggy, and watched a really mediocre David Cross stand-up special. ROCK.