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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Blue Nile and Klines Dairy Bar - Harrisonburg, Virginia

Oh boy!  Set your food lasers to boner, cuz i got some tasty shit to write about!  I'm pretty excited to write about The Blue Nile because I've actually been to Ethiopia.  When I was in Addis Ababa, I dined heavily on what most Americans identify with Ehiopean cuisine:  spicy curry type shit ("wat" or "wot"), sponge bread("injeera"), and coffee that puts your aderol prescription to shame.  Although, when I was in Jig Jigga, a little more of a rural area of Ehtiopia, the only three things that were available to me were eggs, baguettes, and tibs.  Tibs is like a chopped up little meat jam piece, and yes, they look like little tibbs.  Now here's the funny thing -- I was told these so called tibbs were goat, but the only thing is that the whole time I was there I didn't see ONE DAMN GOAT.  The only animal I saw were dogs.  Yup.  Anyway, they were delicious.  So Ehtiopia is a pretty fun place, you should go there one day.

Takin it down to yum town!  Blue Nile is easily one of my favorite places to play because they've got a bunch of tight beers, usually some fly honeys working, and of course, the famous band platter.  Oh hey!  It's the bartender!!

Me:  Hakuna Matata!
Barkeep:  ???
Me:  Jambo?
Barkeep:  ...
Me.  I'll have a PBR and a band platter please.
Barkeep:  You got it, asshole.

The actual way to say hello in Amharic is "Selam".  Anyways, if you're in a band, Blue Nile provides you with one vegetarian band platter that usually has about four different wats and a bunch of sponge bread.  We usually get a couple of of extra things though, cuz we're shitty pigs.  I highly recommend getting their hummus with spicy Ethiopian butter(probably the best hummus I've had in Virginia) and the beer battered onion rings.  Hey!  Our food's here!

So we never really bother to find out the actualy names of this shit, and we opt to just call them things such as the "green guy" or the "red dude".  We all like to pick our favorites of the night, and my favorite more often than not is usually the yellow dude, but I gotta say carrot guy mixed with little white dude on the bottom was where it was at.  And beets?  Sheeyit mang, you can never lose with beats, plus they're good for your boobs.  Oh yeah, when you're eating Ethiopian food the proper way to do it is too rip off some sponge bread and kind of just pick up the curry shit with your right hand.  DO NOT use your left hand, because your left hand is for wiping poop out of your butt.  So eat there!  Cuz it's delicious and extremely nutritous.

For desert, me and the boys made our way to Kline's Dairy Bar, a Harrisonburg tradition:

SOOOO YUUUMMMMMY!!!!  It's a soft serve joint and on any given night there's a huge line to get the flavor of the week.  This week's flavor was raspberry, but they might as well have called it "Instant Testical Drainer".  It was pretty hilarious rolling in like seven dudes deep and just hamming it up around famillies and college kids.  Hey look!  It's B-Rock and Jakers!

Four fourth meal, we went to, of course, Sheeetz.  Cuz fuck WaWa.

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